Saturday Nerves

it's funny. it's saturday night, i'm winding down, reflecting on what i did for the day, and what i'll be doing tomorrow, and suddenly it hits..... again. my saturday night nerves, or maybe i should say, my sunday morning nerves =)
i don't know why or when it will ever go away, but for whatever reason, every saturday night on the weekends i'm scheduled to lead worship in church, i get the jitters. i hate it. i'm such a dork. i've been singing since i was like 7. in fact, i think i could even prove it if i had to. somewhere, in an old dusty box, my mom has a vhs of me singing. i was the star of david in our christmas play about the birth of jesus. it was my big debut, me singing the lord's prayer, which might i add, that was when sandi patti was cool, so um yeah, shouldn't i be bigger than jitters by now? =)
sometimes, even though the nerves have my stomach all in knots, i think it's a good thing. mostly because as long as i'm nervous, i'm always praying! mostly saying, "dear god, please don't let me screw this up!" ha ha ha, but it's good. i'm relying on him with everything i have, and i'm sure that's probably right where he wants me. so there. i just taught myself something. i'm not a total dork, i'm just learning to rely on God. okay so maybe it's not so bad after all =)