Tuesday, September 2, 2008

A Self Discovery

I've always thought that I knew myself pretty well. In fact, I've always been the type to think that I'm pretty honest with myself, but for some reason, I've made a discovery recently. Something I where I just never made the connection. One thing I did know, I'm a perfectionist - In every way, my hair, my cooking, my house, the way the DVD's sit on the rack..... yes everything. What I discovered though, is that because I'm such a perfectionist, one area that drives me absolutely bonkers, is being a perfectionist of my time. Not sure why I didn't realize it sooner, but I really think that my number one pet-peave is wasting time! Lately, the time I spent at hom0is a little less than it used to be. I've been working part time at Starbucks, and I've also been helping out with a few things at church. Both of which, I love, but with me having less time at home, I'm noticing that the time I have is precious. There are clothes to be washed, dishes to be done, and a baby that's always hungry =)
Before, when the only thing I had to do was stay home, I found myself never worrying too much if things didn't get done, because I knew there was always "tomorrow". Well now, it seems as though, if I don't stay focused, I end getting everything done, but feeling like I got nothing done. Does that make sense? =) For instance, the other day, I was looking around the house and feeling a bit overwhelmed. There was a basket full of laundry, dishes in the sink, toys spread all over the living room, the couch pillows were tossed every which way, the carpet needed to be swept, .... I think you get the point. I started with the laundry. I started two loads, and then before I could even move onto to my next task, Jace was waking up from his nap and he was ready to eat. So I got him fed, changed, all that good stuff, and after that I just started getting caught up with other things. It was almost time for Chris to be home, dinner needed to be started, and the clothes... oh yeah the clothes.... well that's what I'm getting to. The days flew by and so did the night, and then again, so did the next day, when suddenly it dawned on me..."oh that's right, I have to be at work tonight, and my clothes are in the dryer". So I go over to the dryer, to realize, "oh I never pushed start!" So now, not only were my clothes not fresh and fluffy. On the contrary, they were damp and smelled like sewage! oh yeah! So not only did that strike my nerves because they smelled horrible, and I was going to be going to work soon, but the fact that in the midst of trying to get lots done, and thinking "well atleast I got the laundry done", and then realizing that I didn't even get that done. Well, that's when I lost it! I went crazy! (Chris may have been thinking, "who is this woman, and where is my wife?!) I was ranting and raving going on and on, and I just kept saying, "what a waste of time! I hate wasting time! Like I don't have enough laundry to do, now I get to do it all twice!".... yeah, doesn't sound too pretty.
Luckily, I'm not always that way =) and now that I know myself a little better hopefully I can plan out my days better. In fact, I even went out and bought a planner. I'm hoping that if I can stay on some sort of a schedule, I'll be able to keep the hairy scary side of me from coming out again! ..... and now I'll always double check that when I put laundry in the dryer, I hit the "start" button =)

2 comments:

hoodfamily00 said...

yeah, I thought you smelled like sewage today!!!LOL I do understand how you feel. I am a perfectionist too.

Tiffany said...

I have to live by my planner. Time is precious and if I plan I do a better job of getting every thing done without killing myself. I'm not super rigid though...I give myself room to go with the flow, you have to with kids.
I know you'll get your groove. It takes time to figure out how to juggle everything, especially when you are working.
Love you!