okay so usually i like to think of myself as an upbeat, easy going, happy go lucky kinda lady! but! my goodness! don't ask me where it all came from, but i had a MAJOR melt down the other night.
Being an at home mom has been a huge answer to prayer. If you would have talked to me a few months ago, you would have totally heard me mention the fact that life was good but that I was waiting for the Lord to answer my prayers to allow me to stay home with Jace. I was really struggling with putting Jace in a daycare where who knows who, would be teaching him life lessons and who knows what else. I didn't want to miss that first "dada" or the first time he rolled over. I firmly believe that he is my number one ministry and that being home with him is the greatest privilege. not only do I get to teach him all the principles i believe the bible instructs us to teach, but i get to take part in every exciting new adventure. From his first word to his first step, I get to take part in all of it! amazing right? ..... so why have i been so depressed!! being at home seems to have sucked the joy of life right out of me! just lately i've just felt, well, not myself for lack of better words. Luckily I've realized why and now i know how to handle it. if it weren't for my husband, i'd probably still be clueless, but with his help we have developed a plan to get me out of this mommy slump!
First of all, the causes for the mommy melt-down (and all mommy's are probably guilty):
1. Spending every waking moment at home. Outside of running errands, my daily routine pretty much revolves around Jace and his naps. Because he takes a couple of naps a day, that limits my time to get out.
2. My only conversation is with my baby babbling cutie pie and our dog! Unfortunately even though i'm a huge people person, I hate the phone. I'd rather text a million texts than have a normal conversation on the phone and since i stay home all day, i pretty much just talk to jace, who, if you haven't figured it out yet, isn't much of a conversationalist! ha!
3. Trying to be the perfect Housewife/mom. for whatever reason i drive myself crazy trying to keep our house clean. when i could be out getting fresh air with jace or going for a walk or meeting up with a girlfriend, instead i seize any opportunity i can when jace is preoccupied or sleeping, to wash more dishes, do more laundry, or straighten the couch pillows that I've already straightened a million times even though they'll never really look the way i want them to.
4. Thinking Jace needs me around even when Chris is home. Seriously, not sure why, but even once Chris gets home, I just stay home and do the same things i do all morning, clean and cook.
5. Thinking Chris needs me around every time he's home. I just feel guilty going out and having fun with some girlfriends if I know that Chris is home. He doesn't make me feel that way, I just do for some reason.
So here are my solutions that me and my hubby have come with:
1. I just need to get out! Even if it's just taking Jace to the playground, or running to Target for toilet paper, instead of waiting for the perfect opportunity, Jace is laid back enough that I just need to realize that getting out of the house in itself it therapeutic. Taking jace and the dog for a walk is a change of pace, and sometimes thats just what i need.
2. Girl time is key!!! there is no reason why i can't meet a girlfriend for lunch and just take jace with me. some adult conversation can do wonders for the brain! =D talking to someone who actually talks back - that can be more rewarding than people realize.
3. NObody is perfect, so if there are dishes left in the sink, or toys left on the floor - life will go on! ..... wow! that felt good! =) the point of being home is to be with jace, not the house!
4. Daddy is sufficient! Jace absolutely adores his daddy so there's no reason for me to be hovering every minute when Chris is home. if anything, i need to seize the opportunity to go out and actually do something without Jace on my hip. His world is not going to crash and burn if i'm not there.... really.
5. Chris time / Me time. As much as i love the time we spend together as a family (especially thursday nights; our designated family night), sometimes it's good for me to get out and socialize with some girlfriends that i maybe don't get to see during the day. Chris very much loves watching his sports, where as i am not so much a fan. so instead of sitting on the couch wishing we were watching something else, i can use those opportunities to go out and see a girlfriend i haven't seen in a while, and he can peacefully enjoy the game with Jace, and have some quality father - son time =)
so there it is, the melt down was bad but i'm glad i had it. better sooner than later, and atleast now i can begin to do what it takes to fully enjoy being an at home mom!